Drowning in Opportunities

That phrase popped into my head in my least favorite class this morning.  And I liked it.  The phrase, still working on my attitude for that class.

In my AP Psychology class a few years ago, we talked about the paradox of choice.  The more options one has to choose from, the less satisfied one is with the final choice.  It seems odd to be less satisfied with more options, hence the paradox.  The rationale is that with each choice there is an un-choice.  I chose crepes for breakfast this morning (good choice!) so I did not choose oatmeal or cereal or pancakes.  The more options you have, the more possibilities wind up un-chosen.  And since we naturally compare our present state to our "could have been" state, if there are more paths we did not take, we will be more vexed pondering all the routes un-traveled.  

I wish I could learn everything and go to every concert and every lecture and every ward activity and put 100% into absolutely everything.  But people who tell you to give 100% to everything aren't very good at math.  (This coming from me, enough said.) We only have 100%. (duh) 100% and choices of where and how to invest it.  So I can't go do everything or learn everything or be everything.  Bummer.

But I can be me.  And I can do a lot of cool things that are important to me.  And I can learn as much as I can.  And, that will just have to be enough for now.  My dad always tells my mom, "You can have it all, you just can't have it all at once."  My mom and I are very similar. (Lucky me!) 

So for now, I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to swim.

=)

I wasn't in the mood to come up with a clever title.  I was just in the mood to write a little something.

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about how wonderful everything is.  Life is truly a beautiful thing.  I have a super fantastic lovable family that adores me.  I have the kindest friends a girl could ask for.  I have this really sweet boy I kind of like a lot.  =)  I go to the school of my dreams.  I get to study what truly interests me.  I get to pursue my passions of music and teaching little kids.  I get to sing with the BYU Choirs.  I know who I am.  I am blessed to have the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ in my life.

It sounds all self-satisfied and smug and like, "Oh, look at me, isn't my life wonderful?"  And ok, fine, it sort of is, but not in a "rub it in your face" sort of way.  In a "I'm super duper happy about everything and I just want to spread the joy" sort of way.  Life is so !!!!  I can't even come up with a word that has enough significance and pizzazz and umph and something that means what I'm trying to say.  One of my favorite thoughts comes from a Calvin and Hobbes comic, but with a twist—Calvin says how life is always unfair but that he wishes it would be unfair in his favor.  I'm convinced that life is always unfair in my favor.  I lucked out with EVERYTHING in a big big BIG way.  I look around at my life (especially the people and opportunities that surround me) and I think, "How could I ever have done anything to deserve to be where I am with who I'm with?"  And then I remember that I'm just super duper lucky and blessed and loved and I accept that life is ridiculously unfair in my favor and I smile.


I feel obligated to mention that I have hang-ups and bang-ups and get left in a lurch and in a slump, etc.  It happens and it always hits me really hard out of nowhere and I'm left looking around wondering where it come from.  But I've found that after each one of those bang-ups, my happiness has wiggled down a little deeper into who I am.  Does that make sense?  (Sorry if it doesn't.  You might have to deal with it anyway... Thanks!)  Here's the thing, though—every time I get in a slump people pull me out of it.  Remember that amazing family and wonderful friends and cute boy I mentioned?  They help a lot.  And my Savior whose truth lights my life—He helps the most.

Really, I owe everything about how wonderful my life is to Him.  He is the reason everything is ok.  Or why everything will be ok.  I have a testimony that He can fix any problem and augment any joy.  Everything that makes me happy is possible because of Him.  And everything that makes me unhappy is surmountable because of Him.  He is why life is wonderful. He is why I can be with people I love forever.  He is why we get to see gorgeous sunrises and sunsets every single day!  He is why everything keeps going and growing even after this earthly segment of life ends.  He is why I get to live on cloud nine. =)

Home...*contented sigh*

Haha! Mostly I wanted to see if I could figure out how to get a picture on here.  And I did. Behold three of the most lovable people in my world!

There's my mommy, who is the most amazing woman I know, straight up my favorite person in this world, my best friend, and all other wonderful things moms are. Everyday when I come home between my jobs for lunch she makes me lunch—it's so good to remember what it's like having your mom take care of you. (I LOVE college, but the Mom factor trumps pretty much everything.)

Abby is cheesing it up in the middle there on her big stuffed tiger.  She makes whispered roaring noises when she sees animals, or pictures of animals—doesn't matter if the animal roars or not.  Duckies are the only exception at this point because of her bathtub duckies.  And her word for ducky is "Daddy!" She calls everything Daddy except Mom, me, and bananas.  Bananas and I are both "Nana!"

And that handsome guy on the right is Davis, my huggable 13-year old brother.  How many 13-year old boys are huggable, really?  But Davis is a sweetheart.  He has certainly grown up a lot while I've been away.  He was not a huggable 12-year old, that's for sure.  And he's funny now, too!  I think he was a little funny before, but this kid keeps us all giggling.

There you have it, folks, 1/3 of my familia.  I don't have good pictures of Dad, Katie, Clayton, John, James, or Christian up on my computer yet, but when I do the introductions can continue.  For now, just believe me that they're all adorable and I absolutely adore them all.  And while I'm super excited to head back to the Y in 2 weeks for summer term, I really really really don't want to leave home again just yet.  You definitely learn to appreciate what you had when you suddenly don't have it at close proximity anymore.  At least I do.  But we've got two weeks and the sibs will be out of school on Thursday!!!!! Party! =)

Quote for today—(courtesy of some skater kid in Katie's yearbook)—"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space."  Do I believe that? Nope, you know me.  But it gave Mom and me a good laugh.  Maybe you had to have seen the picture—the kid was sitting on a skate jump, helmet in hand—he totally believed it.

Life at Large

So I think the last one was actually my last one.  But I might keep this blog thing happening now and again, it's kind of fun. =)  A few things then, along that vein.

1) The last lecture and lab of our leadership class was about going forth to serve—that's half of BYU's motto: " Enter to Learn. Go Forth to Serve."  So I will.  Both as I'm going home for the spring and when I eventually graduate (in like 20 years...)

2) I don't know if I ever explained the name of this blog, maybe I did, but maybe not.  I was looking up cool words that start with H and halation came up.  It means to be blurrily surrounded by halo-esque light.  (That's my paraphrasing of the definition, anyway.)  I liked it and it rhymed with jubilation and I could make a little play on words about inhaling.  So basically, it point of the goofy title was to evoke an image of the glowing happiness that fills each day because we wake up able to breathe and live and be.  Think about it.  Life is rock awesome.  Except sometimes it isn't, but even then little things pop up to make it better.  That's my story for today.  Make today a good one, folks! =)

Leading Change

People have told me more times than I can fathom that the only constant in life is change.  For better or worse, it's true.  I realized when I first came to college that I will be moving on average twice a year for the next 5 years.  New friends, new neighbors, new classes, new callings, everything changing all the time.  I was talking to my grandma on the phone during the first week of school and she asked me what was new.  I answered, "Everything."

As a leader, you can't avoid change.  It happens and you have to be ready and able to lead your followers to and through it.  Change can be difficult, frustrating, and a major hurdle for people.  From our class discussions as of late, to me the most important aspect of leading change is sharing the vision with others and getting them involved and invested in the process. 

In our RS, we struggled with getting everyone on board about the new system of reporting visiting teaching.  Somewhere along the chain of communication the novelty of the changing system got lost and I don't think the rest of our girls knew that we needed weekly reports instead of just monthly reports.  To remedy our situation and get our supervisors up to speed on the new plan, we invited them to attend a special presidency meeting where we talked about the new plan and why things need to be done this new way.  After the supervisors understood why the change was necessary and how their role was crucial to bringing it about, they were great.  My supervisor (yes, the members of the presidency have supervisors, it's a very communal, everybody check on everybody type of system) texted me less than half an hour ago to check in with me so she could provide the information for the weekly report.

The other most important part of leading change in my observation and opinion is leading it by example.  People won't rush to do things in some new and crazy way unless someone they trust is endorsing the new behavior with their actions.  Another recent example to illustrate this: it's getting close to the end of the year, finals are creeping up on us and nobody at my apartment has time to clean anything.  Filth stresses me out and I cannot work well or focus half decently in a messy place.  Change was imperative for my sanity and my GPA.  I put in a few hours of cleaning one morning to replace the cleanliness bar in our dwelling.  I then encouraged my roommates to join me in simple upkeep with the little, daily chores so we don't get overwhelmed with filth at inconvenient times.  I figured if I start the trend, hopefully others will follow.  And it's not fair to ask people to do something you aren't willing to do.

Lead by example, involve others in the process of instigating change, and hopefully enjoy great success.  As this is my penultimate blog post for this class, let me close with an especially wonderful quote from our beloved prophet.  (I love how in Conference everyone always refers to him that way—it makes me smile every time they say it because it makes of think of the millions of other people around the world who love the prophet, too.)

"Fear not; be of good cheer—the future is as bright as your faith."  -Thomas S. Monson

The Ultimate in Ethics

Monday's presenter really impressed me.  John Curtis, the mayor of Provo, came and spoke to us about ethical leadership and he definitely knew what he was talking about.  He told us that ethical leadership os doing the right thing even when it's hard.  I took a whole page of notes on his 45-minute talk.  That's kind of a big deal for me.  A few of things he said that I really like were: "Doing the right thing gets harder the longer you wait." and "The moment to correct an error is the moment it happens."  So true. 

On Wednesday in our lab we talked about how ethical leadership means making tough decisions between conflicting values.  It's easy when the values at odds aren't of truly comparable value, but as they get closer to each other, the choice gets harder.  For example an honesty vs. convenience choice is easier than an honesty vs. human life choice. 

In an effort to have a shorter than usual blog and avoid rambling, I'll cut to the chase.  We talked about the differences between religious and secular ethics.  (Side note: this is one of my favorite things about going to a private, church school—my education is very holistic.)  We talked about how in our faith the highest ethical code is following the Spirit's direction.  For a simple person like me, learning to follow the guidance of a divine being seems much easier and more comfortable than wrestling with moral dilemmas on my own.  True, I'll still need to make judgment calls between conflicting values and have a concrete reason for what I chose, but overall, listening to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost seems like a good way to go.  Especially in my leadership role, which is entirely based in the religious world, not the secular one.  Recently, one of our girls requested not to be visit taught, specifically one of my girls.  I was rather crushed and confused, not gonna lie.  But with the Spirit's direction I found a way to negotiate the conflicting values of our need to take care of her and her desire to not be visited. 

Quote of the week: "Awareness is the threshold of learning." -Dr. Paul Broomhead, my choir director.

Have a great week everyone!

Different Times Call for Different Measures: Situational Leadership

Initially, I thought this model was kind of dumb and I think the presented explained it backwards, or I was just super tired (probably that one) but the more I think about it, the more I like it.  I've started looking at it as a progressive curve that outlines the path of the maturing follower.  Sure, there will be some fluidity because followers won't steadily progress all the time, they will slip up on occasion.  And the leader won't always be infallible either, though in the examples I consider the leaders are solid (my parents, almost never wrong, and God, never ever wrong.)  Maybe this is a stretch, but I think I remember something about my TA saying I'm allowed to just run with it. ; )

Ok, this is the model.  I think it will make better sense if I let it speak for itself at first because when our presenter tried to explain it, he lost me pretty quick.

So there it is, folks.  As we develop our leadership and as our followers increase in their capacity to follow, we move from a directing style through coaching and supporting to delegating which is a much more follower-dependent style. 

One way I've thought about this model is how it relates to parenting and a child growing up.  When I was younger, my parents had to direct me in everything I did.  I did not have the maturity or life-experience/know-how to direct myself.  As I got older, I became gradually more capable and could have a voice in the decision-making process; I grew into a candidate for coaching rather then merely directing.  Fast forward a few years to when I have a pretty good handle on life, I can mostly make my own decisions so I counsel with my parents before I decide what I'm going to do and how.  They give me counsel and then support my decision, provided it was a wise one.  (They never support my foolish choices. Thank heaven for that.)  At this point in my life, I've learned so much from making decisions with my parents, that I have the confidence and competence to, for the most part, choose the path they  they would counsel me to take even if I don't actually get to counsel with them beforehand.  As I've grown up, I've become a more independent, yet in-tune follower.  As we reach the end of the curve, the followers have such a good handle on what the leader wants to see happen and they have adopted that vision as their own so they can be trusted to be almost entirely self-directed.  My dad talks about his kids as either in the "asset" column or the "liability" column.  As we grow up and become more independent and wise, we get to progress from the liability column to the asset column.

Now, the logical follow up for that thought is, what happens when all the world becomes in-tune with our Eternal leader enough to be trusted with His work?  Super awesome things happen, that's what.  When humanity (God's children) increase in maturity and knowledge to the point where all of us act, of our own accord, in the way God (our Father) would have us act, we will have built Zion. 

And, as my leadership role is in the building up of the Church, getting us all to Zion is among my primary objectives.  With this in mind, I think it's important for leaders to have a strong, divine-centered foundation.  After all, as leaders, we teach and train our followers to think and act as we would so we must first think and act as He would.  And once we are built on the rock of our Redeemer, we cannot fall. (Helaman 5:12)  When we are securely anchored in Christ, then we can reach out to others, those who follow our example, and meet them wherever they are on the path.  If they need directing, we lovingly direct them as Christ would.  When they have enough grounding and maturity to be coached, we coach them.  As the approach the point where they can mostly make wise choices, we counsel and strengthen them in their choices.  And when they are capable enough to choose well on their own, we support and sustain them because effectively, we have taught and led them as far as we needed to and now they join us as leaders to nurture others.

So in my role, as I continue to make sure I'm on the rock, I need to meet people where they are.  Some of our girls need our coaching and direction because they aren't seeing (and feeling) the big picture yet.  These are the girls who need extra-attention; for them, our leadership style needs to be more involved.  Knowing how to reach each heart is something we have to do by prayer and revelation because it's going to be different for each one.  On the other hand, a lot of our girls are steadfast and immovable, always taking care of their sisters and consistently attending church.  These are the girls we rely on as a presidency.  These are the girls we know we could ask to do anything for their sisters and they would.  These are the girls who don't need much from us except continued love and support.  They're already doing what we're here to help them do.  (Let me offer a huge cyber shout-out of thanks to all our girls like that.  Thank you! We love you!)

Quote of the week:  "Leadership is about what you do and what you leave behind." -David A. Bednar
(My thought/reason for this quote: when we lead well, we leave behind other well-equipped leaders to take the reigns when we move on.)