Teamwork =)

This week we focused on TEAMWORK and how together we can do more than we can alone, and how we need certain elements to create a functional team.  I absolutely LOVE the concept of synergy.  I love it so much I'm copying the definition right here and now: synergy is the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.  When we work together optimally as a team, the outcome and each member's personal growth is much greater than it would have been had we all worked it out on our own.


Immediately relevant personal example—this past weekend my friends and I set up camp in front of the apartment complex we want to live in next year.  (Right upfront let me spoil the end and tell you that freak yes we got an apartment there after camping for 3 nights.)  It was a pretty serious undertaking.  We had 13 girls on board with the plan and everyone's strengths played into making it a success.  We had our organizational guru set up a schedule and keep track of everyone's progress with getting paperwork ready; we had our hardcore tent sleepers hold the fort through the snow; we had our cheerleaders who didn't want to sleep in the cold bring hot cocoa to the tent-dwellers.  We all chipped in what we could and got the job done better and had waaaaay more fun than we would have had each of tried to do it alone.  There's no way I would have even tried to do that alone.

Every group that works together is a team.  Group interaction and teamwork are at the core of being human and therefore incredibly important.  Applying teamwork to my leadership role is the easiest application yet—the RS presidency is, quite simply, a team within a larger team.  Our objective is to reach all our girls and help them feel our Savior's love and draw closer to Him.  Our means are each other; we need each member of the team to pull together and be willing to give their all if we really want to build Zion.  In my mind, the very definition of Zion is something closely akin to "ultra awesome, highly functional, completely invested and self-sacrificial team."  Who wouldn't want to be on that team?  Joining a team is, in a way, giving up custody of yourself and trusting other people to look out for you while you promise to look out for them.  It's a win-win.  

The RS presidency is a team within the larger Relief Society team.  Our job is to help direct and organize and see that everyone is looked after.  And when our little team of 3-4 (I'm still not sure if I really count as part of the "presidency" specifically, but for the sake of this application, let's say I am.) does what we do, then we enable the rest of the team to step in and take care of each other.  Within the presidency we each have different personalities and different strengths.  We have different ways of reaching out to people and sharing the Savior's love with our girls.  The Lord needs all of our different angles combined to reach all His precious daughters.  Maybe my way of reaching out doesn't really jive with some of the girls, but they will respond really well to Natalie, Karee, or SaraH.  (Yup, the H is capitalized on purpose. It's how she writes it.)  And maybe, just one of us isn't enough to convince some of our girls how treasured they are.  We need the synergistic "full-court press" so to speak to help them feel that they are valued and needed.  Individual efforts are nice and necessary, but not enough.  The Lord Himself endorses teamwork when He gives the law of witnesses in D&C 6:28, " in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established."  Teams of witnesses are mandatory for moving the Lord's work forward.  Everything we do in the Church is done in teams.  I would venture to say that everything truly meaningful we do in life we do on a team.  Even and especially when the team consists of just you and the Lord.  That's the most important team to be on.

We NEED each other.  We really can't do it alone.  Like, we really can't.  I've tried; it doesn't work.

I've learned in a very poignant way since coming out here to college and living "on my own" that we all seriously need each other.  I put "on my own" in quotes because people say that, but it's not really true.   We aren't living with our families anymore, but I've never been left entirely on my own.  I have incredible friends on my team who take care of me just like my family would if they were here.  Life is a team effort.  In my psychology class senior year we talked about individualist and collectivist societies.  If it isn't super obvious, I'm a hardcore collectivist.  I think the Church is a big part of my thinking there.  And my family.  It doesn't matter how high you can get on your own because it won't be worth being all the way up there if you're up there alone.

 Our presenter on Monday talked about the 0-100 principle of relationships.  The relationship always needs to add up to 100.  Sometimes it's 50-50, sometimes it's 90-10.  It was a nice analogy, I suppose, and I can see a lot of good ideas there.  Sometimes we end up on the taking side of the relationship, other times we end up giving more than we get, and hopefully it balances in the end.  But what my dad always told me about making a relationship work, about being a stable asset to a team, was that both or all parties need to bring 100 all the time.  Fifty-fifty won't cut it sometimes because you have to be invested with everything you have to make it work.  That's my rant on extremist collectivism.  I have a serious conviction about that, just fyi.

 Back to my leadership role: I'm part of a team! A team I love, doing the work I thrive on.  I bring certain assets and ideas to the table, my teammates bring others and together, especially with the Lord's aid, we have a synergistic outcome.  My goal is to bring 100 all the time because that's what it takes.  I'll do my part of the work to the best of my ability to enable the rest of the team to do their thing.  And together, we accomplish what we could not have done alone.


And the quote of the day is actually more than a quote:

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. 

John Donne

I thought it rather apt.  =)  Go, team, GO! 

Re-Solving

Conflict resolution: not easy or fun, but one of those essential life skills we all wish we were just born with.  This week we focused on causes of and solutions for conflict.  I learned a lot.  The speaker on Monday said that "personality conflict" wasn't a real thing.  My gut reaction was, "Um, you're crazy, heck yes it is."  But then he explained it and I began to see his point.  He outlined 5 types of conflict:

-Process: people raised doing the same things different ways, both thinking the other is crazy and doing it wrong.  It's not personal, it's just a process.  Definitely something to keep in mind.

-Role: I can't explain this one as well, but I think it has to with when people either fulfill or don't fulfill the roles the have.  Example: if one of my friends starting acting more like my mom than my friend, that could create some conflict.

-Interpersonal: self-explanatory (or too complicated to summarize...)

-Directional:  "Well, I think we should go that way."  "Nope, you're wrong, there's nothing worth seeing that way. Let's go this way." "Grrrr." etc.

-External: weather, traffic, sickness, etc.

I also learned that I'm quite reluctant to admit when conflict is external because I like to be in control of my situation.  I realize that sometimes it is just out of my hands, but I like to believe that if I prepare enough, I can be ready to avert any disaster.


A few of things the presenter said didn't sit well with me though:

"If two people are complete agreement, then only one of them is thinking."  False.  Moses 7:18  When we draw closer to the Lord and see it the way He does, we naturally come into harmony with each other.  Agreement isn't a softy, passive, wishy-washy cop out.  Harmony is beautiful.

"If you enter any conversation with the idea that you're right, then you have already started wrong." I don't know that that's always true.  Then all our missionaries are starting on the wrong foot fairly consistently.  ; ) It's not a crime to acknowledge that sometimes you are just plain right.  There's never a good reason to be a snob about it, but if you know you're right, I don't see a good reason to back down. I'd reword that sentence a bit, "If you enter any conversation with a presumptuous attitude about needing to be right, then you should stop talking and go chill."

Okay, I'm done being a critic.  Now I'll be a student again.

The speaker used a great metaphor about using our emotions effectively.  "Emotions are like water—highly useful when channeled positively, but incredibly destructive if left to run their course unchecked."  I hadn't honestly given much thought to questioning the validity of my emotions before.  I just feel what I please.  I don't always act on my feelings, but I let them be.  Taking a step back and objectively looking at the situation to decide if I even have a right or reason to feel the way I do could help me get unnecessary emotions off my chest.  That sounds so overly analytical and not poetic in the least, but it makes sense.

 In addition to learning from our speaker, we analyzed our personal approaches to solving conflict via a personality/conflict approach test.  There were 5 ways of approaching conflict as outlined by this test.  My results were: accommodating (10), competing (6), collaborating (5), avoiding (5), and compromising (4).  I wasn't surprised.  I guess a lot of people who know me might be taken aback by the competition aspect, but my dad reminded me yesterday that I'm the second most competitive person he knows.  Second only to my mom. ; )  I can readily see my accommodating side.  I'm pretty good at rolling with it and not letting whatever it is bother me too much.  And when things cross the line, I usually don't have a problem saying so—in a nice way, usually.

Finally, I know—sorry about the novel!—but the point that I liked best of this whole topic is the idea of re-solving.  For a perfectionist like me, having things get constantly undone and need re-doing gets a little frustrating.  It's really good and refreshing for me to remember that life and everything in it is a process, not a checklist.  The work is never done.  The problems constantly need re-solving.  That doesn't mean we failed at solving it the first time.  Needing to wash our clothes every week doesn't mean we did a sloppy wash job last week, it simply needs doing again.  Conflicts need consistent, if not constant, maintenance and monitoring.

The primary conflict in my leadership role is getting people to actually report their visiting teaching to their supervisors on time.  It hasn't happened yet.  But, I need to keep the perspective that it's an issue that needs constant, patient attention.  And it's certainly not a personality conflict—I am not in the least bit upset with any of our girls—I love them to pieces!  It's just a process thing that isn't quite ironed out.  We'll get there. My goal is to have things running smoothly before I turn that report over to the assistant secretary.  It would be nice to take care of it first so we don't dump an open can of worms on this poor girl's lap...

As always, thanks for hanging in there!  Maybe someday I'll learn to economize language, but not today! 

Lead Strong

Monday's lecture was all about strengths-based leadership.  This is the first new concept that this class has brought to my life and I'm intrigued.  The premise is that to lead to the best of our abilities, we must focus on our best abilities and mostly ignore our weaknesses.  At first I thought that sounded ridiculous.  My weaknesses aren't going to just go away if I ignore them.  But the more we talked about it, the more it made sense.  I will work better when I'm thinking along the lines of "I rock at this so watch me be awesome" than when I'm thinking "Wow, I'm terrible.  Why am I even trying?" Focusing on the positive aspects of my character gives me a confidence boost.  Acting with confidence helps overcome weakness and inhibition.


And really, we aren't ignoring our weaknesses; we're recognizing that as we improve our strengths we bring everything else to a higher level as well.  If all the attributes that comprise who we are make up a metaphorical web, then each point or attribute helps determine which plane our web is in.  If we raise all the high points even higher, the rest of the points have to follow suit and thus our entire self is elevated to a new plane of being.  I like that.  And I can do that.

As part of our homework for Wednesday's lab we had to complete a personality test.  I forget the name of the test (Meyers Briggs, maybe?) but mine was fairly accurate.  My personality profile is that of an idealist and a teacher.  Perfect for what I'm going to be when I grow up. =)  I'm good at connecting with people and making them feel comfortable.  More often than not, it's easy for me to see the best in people.  I'm inclined to build people up and help them realize their potential. I have a knack for  linguistic expression.  I'm adept at making decisions.  I draw energy from interacting with people, the more the better. So I rock at some things.  And others not so much.  I try to do more than I can and give more than I have and that results in my feeling like a martyr when it doesn't have to be that way.  I sometimes take things too personally and I care more about what other people think than I should.  There, I acknowledged the weaknesses and now I'm going to focus on the strengths.  I already feel better.

It sounds cliche, but I really am a people person.  I think one of the most significant of my God-given strengths is being able to connect with people.  And my leadership role requires that I help look after and connect with the one.  I know most of the girls in my RS and I'd recognize all of them by now, but I don't have a connection with all of them yet.  My goal for this week is to make time to talk with at least 4 of my girls who I don't know well yet and start a friendship with each of them. 

Matthew 20:27

The lecture on Monday focused on servant leadership.  Honestly, I don't think I'd ever considered that there were other approaches to leadership besides serving those you lead.  Maybe I had, but the whole servant leadership concept is so soundly right that I've since forgotten all other less adequate methods of leading.  And I recognize that there are plenty of examples of leaders who led selfishly without regard for their people, but I tend to discredit those because I'd like to think I wouldn't have followed them.  In my book, servant leadership is the only authentic leadership there is.

Leadership is about influencing those around you in the direction of a common vision.  Serving and loving others and "getting on their good side" seems like the best, most practical, effective, and engaging way to influence them.  I think about the people for whom I would do anything and realize that I would do anything for them because I know they would do anything for me.  Service is love in action.  It's proof that you'll be there when they need you and it's a major building block of trust.  If you want people to follow you, then you have to prove yourself worthy of following.

King Benjamin comes readily to mind when we talk about servant leaders.  He worked for his own support and led his people by loving example.  Everything he did was in their best interest so they trusted him.  When the people have confidence in their leaders, tranquility abounds because the people feel safe and secure.  When the people trust their leader and their leader is worthy of that trust, then peace reigns because the people feel safe and their leader will lead them right.  The peace and happiness that those people enjoyed would not have been possible under a corrupt, selfish leader.  I'm not even sure that I can explain that because it's so intuitively clear.  "With great power comes great responsibility." I've always heard that quote attributed to Spiderman's uncle, but the concept is as old as reason.  One who has power cannot be self-absorbed and irresponsible and non-responsive to the needs of others and still expect to be lastingly effective.

So how will I apply servant leadership to my leadership role?  I couldn't fail to apply it since service and leadership are essentially interchangeable, especially in the church.  Everything we do in positions of church leadership is focused on serving and lifting and guiding our brothers and sisters.  Everything I do as part of my calling is to help identify the needs of my sisters and to take care of them.  From the very name of our organization (the Relief Society) it's clear that we exist to serve each other, to relieve burdens.  As the secretary, I help the presidency keep track of who needs relief, who need serving, and who needs to serve.  Service is a double-sided blessing; giving it is as relieving as receiving it.

Quote of the week, and perhaps of my life: "What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" -George Eliot